||ramblings|| 2005-05-17 @ 11:26 p.m. hmm 2004-03-12 @ 5:12 p.m. Okays i'm going to be using my livejournal from now on.. LJ 2004-02-09 @ 10:07 p.m. Hehehe. Our alarm was making a right noise last night. Seriously it sounded like somebody was raping Sweep. :o I bet it was Sooty. It's always the quite ones... 2004-02-08 @ 12:25 p.m. ARGH. How much of a wuss am i? I've just been watching Signs and swear to god when the alien walked across the screen i must've jumped about 2 foot into the air. It scared the crap out of me. I'm scerrred. :S 2004-02-07 @ 12:33 p.m. Hmmm. I have way too many people on my msn list. I have like 106 contacts and i must only talk to about 20, if that. Also people randomly add me and i have no bloody clue who the hell they are. This girl came on last night and put "Long time no see". I couldn't for the life of me remember who she/he was. Stupid memory. 2004-02-03 @ 3:50 p.m. Oh God. What a weird day. Well at luncheon i decided to go get myself some dinner..on my own as everyone decided to disappear when i needed them. Got my dinner, no worries. It was walking up from the Deli when the drama started. I had my hands full with sandwich, ribena etc..and as i walking up the steps, i missed one. I fell forward. Realising i couldn't stop my face from going smack bang into the step as my hands were full, i decided to twist my body so i'd fall on my backside. Hmm. Bad idea. It had been pissing it down with rain and..yup..i fell right into a big ass muddy puddle. Embarrassing it was. Especially as quite a few people saw me. To add insult to injury i dropped my sandwich in the puddle too, so half of it was inedible. My jeans were saoking and muddy. Not nice. Ended up having to change them at home. *le sigh* OMG. History was hilarious. We were doing this hotseat thing where we pretended to be Nazis (not literally :|) whilst other people in the class asked us questions about our lives. My God i haven't laughed that much for ages. James Cole decided to be Goring...and to come in a dress (his reason: Goring was a transvestite..which is true but he thoroughly enjoyed wearing that dress). We decided it would be funny to nick his clothes. LMFAO..so he had to walk around outside with this dress one... 2004-02-01 @ 10:16 p.m. Ghad. I should sue Sainsburys for what they've done to my hands. Last night i spent only an hour and a half on the tills. The rest of the night i was shelf stacking. Oh yay. I'm not bloody trained to do that. Plus because i'm not trained to use their special cutting things so i end up ripping apart my hands trying to get boxes open with my key. I've got so many bloody cuts on my hands now. Grr. Theni almost bust my back lifting up this big box of flour. Flour should not be that heavy. :| 2004-01-29 @ 10:13 p.m. I had my English Lit exam today. 3 hours of English Lit HELL. I'm pretty sure i've messed it up. I just have trouble with the structure of my answers. I just end up bullshitting and repeating myself. Ah well. I tried my best..and though the examiner doesn't give a shit about that..i do. If i get below a C, i think i'll resit. I'll be happy with a B. *prays for a B* For the last question i had to make connections to gothic literature and goths. Kinda hard. So i just ended up going on about how they're both stereotyped. Like there's a stereotypical vision of what a piece of gothic literature should be like (e.g. mentions castles and stuff :p), just like there's a stereotypical view of how a goth should dress, look like..etc. Hope that's right. Or else i just wasted a page of writing.. 2004-01-28 @ 8:49 p.m. ARGH. Snow sucks. Mum's car had a run in with a bus stop. She was so upset about it. :( Stupid ice. *threatens it with fire* Nip/Tuck was amazing. I LOVE Matt. Bless him. He kinda looks like Michael Jackson though. lol. Hehe. I laughed out loud when he caught his gf cheating on him with another GIRL. So funny. Then i saw his widdle face. Bless. When he cried at the end. :( Amazing acting. God at the end with that girl shooting herself. That was..shocking and really sad. Especially with that amazing song in the background. It really fitted the scene perfectly. And whoo. I managed to find it on kazaa..after 5 hours searching for it. It's called So Damn Beautiful and it's by Polaroid. All i could find was a dance/trance mix of it though. :( But whoo. Eventually found it. Patience is a viture.. 2004-01-27 @ 8:54 p.m. Bah. I need to pee. Yet i'm not moving from my seat. Ah well. Decided to not go to school this morning lol. I felt like shite warmed up, so i thought better of it. I wub Britneh. I wub her so much. She has such an awesome walk *dreamy look* Everyone go to www.pepsi.co.uk and check out the new commercial. :D U only just got what it's about. Sowwy. :| Was paying too much attention to Britney to notice WTF was going on..lmfao..My little bro had to comment of course, only to say "Oooh did enriques mole fall off?" hehehehe.. 2004-01-26 @ 2:45 p.m. Hmph. Lucy put my name into this job predicter thing and i said just before she did it, "I bet it's going to be something dodgy". Call me psychic but guess what? I was bang on. I got Vibrator Tester. LMFAO. Sounds like a..pleasurable job..*cough* anyways. Hardy ha. At the mo i'm listening to the Spiceworld album. I forgot how much i loved the Spice Girls. And wow, i didn't realise it was like almost 6 years ago. :o Viva Forver makes me want to cry so much. It's beautiful. *sniff* 2004-01-24 @ 10:58 p.m. Hehe. It was so funny at work earlier. Well if you're me. I found it amusing. :p The supervisers (eugh can't be arsed to check the spelling of that :P) were just stood around watching the big influx of people come into the store and one observed "Panic buying." to which the other one went "mmmhmmm". Hehehe. I just sat and giggled. I get amused far too easily. :| So yeah everyone was panic buying 'cause apparently it's gonna be lie -14*C never week. Brrrrrr. Horrid. Aww omg. This really sweet lady at work forgot her checkbook and she couldn't pay for 2 weeks worth for shopping. I felt so sorry for her 'cause she'd spent an hour in there. She looked like she was gonna cry, which almost made me cry. :( 2004-01-24 @ 4:25 p.m. Wow forgot my name badge for work last night me. God forsake my soul. I swear it's like the 8th deadly sin. lol. Must remember it today. Just been to Lucy's house to look over our pre-release for the Eng lit exam. Was cool. Got some stuff done, though spent most of the time bitching about people lol. Good times. 2004-01-22 @ 9:37 p.m. Okay i've come to the decision that Livejournal sucks. lol. Well it does it makes me not want to ramble. So from now on i'm going back to this one. :D Something i have control over muahahahah. *cough* Anyhoo..Some news. I'M GOING TO SEE BRITNEY SPEARS IN CONCERT. *hyperventilates* *goes into spazzy teenybopper mode* And and and and how much does Toxic just rock your socks?! And! Sexay Britneh in Gladiator uniform. Yum yum. I think i have a new fetish.. 2004-01-03 @ 4:27 p.m. Again, what is up with the weird dreams? I had this dream where this big ass Ice..man/monster was after me. So i'm running up my road frantically weilding a baseball bat, decapitating what can only be described as snowmen (the Ice dude's minions most likely) in the process. Heh. I got to Nic's house. Why her house i have no idea. Me and my brother and cousins ran off into the house. Going from room to room, trying to hide but the big ice dude kept smashing the windows. :S It was scareh. :| Then i was half awake..and thinking "WTF?!"..So i changed the ned of my dream somehow. lol. The ice dude grabbed me and flew with me. :S No.."I'm walking in the aiiiiiiir..." was not playing in the background. I think. 2004-01-02 @ 11:53 p.m. It is it weird to dream you're in Mississippi? Well i did..and i think it's weird. I was flying this plane and i ended up in Mississippi. My brother was there and my cousin was there too for a school trip. I thought "How lame. Couldn't you have gone somewhere interesting like Chicago". How very random of me. 2004-01-01 @ 2:13 p.m. 2004! And it snowed. How very cool. :D We only noticed after about an hour of it doing so lol and we ran outside and promptly started a snowball fight. I had to come in after 5 minutes though 'cause all the running around knackered me out FAR too quickly. Plus this little shit came out and decide to throw one at my head. Big mistake. It was war. Ended up with me running way too fast after him and skidding over onto my arse. Fun fun fun. Oooh we went bowling earlier that day as well. Two strikes in a row *gets down with her bad self* Have bowler's elbow now though..ya know..like tennis elbow..but from bowling.. :S 2003-12-18 @ 9:44 p.m. Ho ho ho..It's almost Xmas! *does a festive jig* Good times... Had my haircut today, which has to be the most boring thing on earth. I seriously can't sit still for that long. I have to fidget. I'm a fidgety person. Had to wait for my mum to have her hair done first which was also boring... I really do not have anything interesting today lol So i'll just post my wall and be off. :p 2003-12-17 @ 7:50 p.m. After much deliberation (yes i had to look in a dictionary and i did actually spell it right lol Cha ching..*cough*..), i've decided that Livejournal does not exactly rock my uninteresting socks. I much prefer the control i have over this one. Call me a control freak, maybe i am one? Hmm..not sure. Anyhoo..I digress..and have completely lost the plot. *blames the radiator for over heating her* I may fiddle with the layout 'cause i'm bored (whoa just spelt that 'board'). I'm turning into a dunce. Nervermind.. 2003-10-20 @ 1:20 p.m. New Xtina wall: I may make another one when i get home. *scratches chin* The caps for it are kinda crappy though. Hence why its 800x600. 2003-10-13 @ 1:06 p.m. Yes Lucy. Lucifer is another name for Satan, doofus. :-p 2003-10-12 @ 12:48 p.m. Why do musician's leave decent songs off of their albums? Examples: Britney Spears - I Run Away Britney Spears - She'll Never Be Me Avril Lavigne - Why? Avril Lavigne - Get Over It Avril Lavigne - I Don't Give a Damn All of these songs are amazing. Especially Why by Avril. Download them. ;-) 2003-10-08 @ 5:52 p.m. OMG I can't believe some people's stupidity sometimes. Check this out: Britney Spears' label at Jive Records responded by e-mail Tuesday to Kendel Ehrlich's remarks wanting to "shoot" the singer if she had the opportunity. They wrote, "Since this unfortunate comment was made at a domestic violence prevention conference, it seems that Mrs. Ehrlich has shot her own self in the foot by promoting violence." LMFAO. Go Jive! "she inadvertently used a figure of speech to express those concerns" <- The excuse. Erm yeah sure..whatever you say.. Bah. I hate it when people get on Britney's back. Actually on ANY female singers back. Like Xtina said in Can't Hold Us Down it's all about double standards. Justin etc can have pictures of them taken half nekkid grabbing their crotch and not a word is said about it. Pisses me off that you have to constantly defend the people you like. Parents have to realise you can't blame societies/parents failings on one person. If your 11 year old daughter wants to dress like Britney Spears. DON'T LET HER. It's a simple as that. Don't give in to her. FFS..It's like all this shit with violence on tv and movies, they're used as scape goats.. Example: I am a fan of Britney Spears. I watch Buffy which is considered violent. I am perfectly fine. I do not want to writhe around half nekkid or go out and mass murder people. 2003-10-07 @ 4:38 p.m. Argh. You know what's good about mass amounts of alcohol? It numbs the pain. Hence why it's weird when you wake up the next morning and realise your feet are all bruised from people trampling on them and rubbed raw by your stupid shoes. Also i have about 5 lumps on my head from where i randomly hit my head against different things during the evening. The only one i remember clearly was on the way back home i leant forward in the taxi and whacked my head on the door handle. Anyways last night MADNESS. It was SO much fun though. It was the Checkers (local eating place where everyone works) staff party. Yes i know i don't work there but it was Joanne's 18th so i gatecrashed. As you do.. So me, Nic and Ad toddled off to this pub where we got erm...drunk. I ended up having 3 smirnoff ices, 2 reefs, 3 bacardi and cokes and an Aftershock shot. Ooers...So i was way past merry and tipsy.. Meh i wasn't the only one lol OMG me and Nic were in the toilets and this old women stumbled in. She was SO drunk. Man i couldn't stop giggling... I saw WAY too much male flesh last night also. Well first of all one of Nic's male co-workers was wearing a leppard print thong, which was unfortunately exposed to my poor poor eyes. Then Little Ian decided to do an unplanned drunken strip for Joanne (we'd been winding her up all week that we were gonna take her to a strip club). We'd thought he's stop at his boxers..but oh no..full monty. Streaked right past me. Poor eyes. Apparently his nickname isn't just poking fun at his height.. After a few more hours singing off key to such classics as It's Raining Men. We decided to go to Republic in Sheffield. So off in the taxi we went. Me, Nic, Ad and Gaz. I may have fallen asleep in the cab as it's now kind of a blur lol I don't even remember going into the club lol I just grabbed hold of Gaz and let him drag me along. Best thing to do really. Well i didn't drink anymore when i got inside. I just had a glass of water cause my throat was really dry from attempting to yell over the sound of the music. I don't remember much of my time inside the club. I do know i was groped by various men. I almost fell over at one point as i had absolutely no concept of balance. Then this dude asked for my phone number and i couldn't for the life of me remember what it was. I was THAT bad. I just thrusted my phone at nic and hoped for the best lol. I decided to have a lil break from all the frantic dancing and i saw Jill on the floor. Seriously it took me about 5 minutes for it to register that it was Jill on the floor. I couldn't place her at all. Apparently she'd fallen and hurt her ankle. :S Someone asked me if i knew her so i said yeah, then ran off to go find Jill's friends. Apparently she got carried out by the bouncers and put in a taxi to be taken to A&E. :S She's okay though. Just bruised. After that i lost everyone lol Danced some more. Then went home at about 2:45. Fell into bed, literally..actually i almost fell out of it, at about 3 ish..I think. Needless to say i didn't feel too good this morning. :P 2003-10-06 @ 11:07 a.m. Me bored..and at school. I'm browsing the internet. LMFAO i'm looking dumb quotes at the mo. Some of them are hilarious: "Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman "Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline Hmm kinda scary that a lot of those quotes are by US presidents lol 2003-10-05 @ 11:54 a.m. Hmmm. Men they always think they can get away with things. You underestimate women. We'll ALWAYS find out... And on that note, apparently i sound like a serial killer on the phone when i've just woken up. I rang my friend Lucy the other morning and because i'd just woken up my voice was really deep and raspy. Shen picked up and i said "Hello Lucy...". It went really quiet and they i heard in a tiny voice "Who is this?". So i'm like "It's Bethan" lol...She thought someone was stalking her lol... 2003-10-04 @ 4:39 p.m. *sigh* Stupid day. I woke up this morning with a bad cough. My chest and throat hurting like a big, fat, bitch. (Do big, fat, bitches hurt? well i suppose they would if one sat on you..anyhoo i digress..). This was at like 8 am. Yes Bethan Evans was up before 11 am on a Saturday morning. Shock Horror. Save your children, the world is ending etc etc. :P I have never been so bored in my life. After watching 4 badly acted and therefore quite humourous instruction videos and listening to various ramblings of Sainsburys people, i was let free after 5 hours. Oh it gets better. I rang my house. No one was in. I rang again. No one was in again. Bloody hell. So i started off walking home mumbling to myself how bloody annoyed i was with my mum and dad who were supposed to pick me up. I had to walk in the freezing cold in the most uncomfortable shoes known to man..okay after wooden clogs maybe. Got home. Yeeep i didn't have a frickin' door key did i so i was locked out. It was an hour before my mum and dad came home. I was not happy at all. I was bloody well freezing. After a cup of hot chocolate (God i really am GrannyBeth :|) and many listenings of Britney, i finally feel a tad better... 2003-10-03 @ 8:29 p.m. Whoo. Finally got my grubby mitts on the new Britney song, and WHOA. I've had it on repeat for the last....erm hour. That doesn't make me crazy, right? right?! *breathes* Almost had another Britney induced spaz. Like i did earlier. Includes a lot of involuntary booty shakes. Can be frightening for a first time viewer. "I wanna get in the zoooooooooooone" Yes highly addictive. Bah. First day of work tomorrow. I'm goin' to die. I know it. 9:30 till 4:30. Come on! That's like a school day...but on a friggin' SATURDAY! What's going to take up that much time? I hope to God it's something at least marginally interesting or i'll be asleep within a few minutes.. 2003-09-29 @ 10:05 p.m. I am so damn clumsy *shakes head* I managed to trip up AGAIN today. I was just minding my merry way and hit my toe smack bang on something, flailed a little bit and then tried to cling onto the shred of pride i still had. It didn't help that there was loads of people walking behind me. I just laughed it off. :| 2003-09-27 @ 10:55 p.m. Whoa. All i can hear right now is really mellow music..then the sound of machine gun and people in pain. Joyous. *scared* Just like to make clear the fact that this is coming from my tv..not my house. Though judging the already building tension in my house, it's about 2 more bitching fights away from a full blown war. We are not happy bunnies today people.. I think a 'pissed-off' fog has surrounded the house or something. I'm just getting really annoyed with people. Okay but cut me some slack, my Dad just told me to go to bed. IT'S 11PM!! How old am I? 10?! Also my brother thinks it's amusing to say "I'm a banana" in a really high pitched voice about 10 zillion times. Let me tell you, after the first 20 times it's about amusing as having 3 inch nails shoved through your nasal cavity... BAH! 2003-09-27 @ 8:40 p.m. Ooh ooh lookit. New layout. All shiiiney and new.Oh and BLUE! I'm really proud of it. Looks tres bonny. :D 2003-09-26 @ 11:28 a.m. Oh my god my innocent ears. Ludracris - What's your Fantasy (remix)...Holy shit. Words. Rudeness. Good lord..I think i downloaded the dirty version lol. Not purposely. Honest. Okay i'm giggling uncontrollably now... I'm majorly hyper today. I also fell down the pavement. La la la.. 2003-09-25 @ 9:34 p.m. Isn't it odd how one tiny, trivial thing can completely alter the mood you're in? Make you go from one extreme to another? I was in such a good mood today. Skipping around in my own way-too-hyper way. Then one stupid thing completely flipped my mood from scary-hyper-happy to pissed-brooding. Hmm. I hate being pissed-brooding. Everything little thing annoys you. I just got annoyed at the way my bed was placed. It was at an odd angle and then when i moved it, it wouldn't stay in place! I swear i was so frustrated i almost cried. Maybe all of this aggression is a side effect of studying it in psych today. There's this frustration-aggression theory which puts forward the idea that it just builds up until you snap. I don't want to snap. It could be messy.. 2003-09-24 @ 9:42 p.m. English weather is weird. Last week i was wearing a tanktop to school (with other clothes of course). This week i had to wear 3 layers. I even considered wearing a scarf. It's just like someone snapped their fingers and it automatically switched from being summer to autumn. Okay it was officially autumn the other day, but never has the weather changed to dramatically. Although that's probably because our weather is so awful in the summer. Mmmkays i'm turning into one of those boring people who talk about the weather all the time. Anyhoo i'm now gainfully employed. I am, as from yesterday, a customer services assistant a.k.a a checkout girlie for Sainsburys. I'm well pleased as about 1000 people applied for only 200 positions. Not only did i get my first job ever, but i actually got a permanent contract unlike a lot of people i know. Woooo. So go me.. 2003-09-23 @ 10:09 p.m. I've had such a gutter brain this week. Okay i usually have a gutter brain but it seems to have come out into the open lately. Like in English we were talking about VE day, which we had in juniors in 95. We were talking about how we dressed how they would've in the 1940s. Except gutter brains here got her lines crossed and said pole dancing instead of may pole dancing...which is a whoooooole different sort of thing. My teacher even heard me say that which is even worse. Bah. It also prompted Joanne to say "Just 'cause you do that every Saturday evening..". Then we were talking about Psych and there's a stat test called Spearmans Rho..and all i could think of was Spearmint Rhino..which is a...erm..strip club lol. Maybe i have an unconscious desire to be a stripper... 2003-09-22 @ 1:10 p.m. Sooooo i'm sat in the post 16 area. Heaps of fun. Just sat with Nic listening to Gloomy Sunday with her. Note to self: Must stop listening to the cheerfully named 'suicide song'. Pondering the thought of going for some food, but i'm too busy typing this at the mo... Also it may be raining and i don't want to get caught in torrential rain like i lamost did earlier. It was amusing watching people scamper across the yard type area with their umbrellas getting blown every which way. Of course it wouldn't have been funny if i was one of the few doing the scampering. But ah well. C'est la vie.. Mmmkays i'm going to suggest going to get food. I can smell someones sandwich and my belly is protesting... 2003-09-21 @ 8:36 p.m. Argh. You know what i can't stand? Pre-pubescent boys. Honest to God what is it that's so wrong with me? What makes them snigger and make 'witty' comments about me? Please somebody tell me. Is it because i have red hair (or ginger *eye twitches*)? I just despair with the world. Really, why am i such an easy target.. I though that sort of thing had stopped when i'd gone up from Gosforth to Fanshawe. But no. Now that they've put the shitty little year nines (okay only a minority of them are annoying) up to our site, I seem to be getting it more often. Why can't they just grow up? I shouldn't let it get to me but grrrrrrrrr. At least i'm getting better with the comebacks. My "Yeah well *mumble mumble mumble*" has evolved to "Oh piss off, tosser". I'm so proud.. 2003-09-18 @ 10:20 p.m. Hmmm. I'm a wee bit fuzzy headed today. This morning i just grunted at people. It was as if i'd left my head in bed. Kind of like that teaching advert. Hm. I did manage to do the impossible to day though. I managed to smash the bottom, just the bottom, of a wine bottle off. I have no idea how i did it. It was tres funny. Me and Mum decided to flee the scene. Trust us to do something like that, eh? Omg omg omg. Halle Berry voluntarily made out with Fred Durst for his new vid. *witholds from barfing* That's just..wrong. It really is. First Xtina, then Britney..now THIS. I despair. I really do. Fred Durst just irks the hell out of me he really does. Wow how many times do you have to use the word 'really', Bethan? BAH. Now i'm talking to myself..well more like typing to myself but you get the picture. Okay. Shower. I shall go forth. 2003-09-18 @ 4:49 p.m. Okay this was yesterdays but Benji hogged the computer all night... Argh. That's it. I don't care. I don't even want a stupid Tag Board for my site. Nu uh. *folds arms* *pouts* Ghad. I've spent the last 2 hours fiddling with it. However, i have officially given up. I don't have the goddamn patience for it anymore. *puts on bad french accent* I speeeeet on yooo tagboard, pah! Mmkays. Felt good today. Probably because of the sunnny weather. I was feeling a tad harrassed yesterday. Almost got run over by some year 9 kids you see. They got an angered "Bloody hell fire!" yelled at them courtesy of moi of course. Then someone thought it would be funny to send the message "Mr Webb loves you" to my computer at school. I didn't know how to get rid of the sodding thing so had to restart my computer. *sigh* God i sound like Victor Meldrew. Not good. Anyhoo, thankfully my day today was less eventful. With the exception of history, which was hilarious. We were having a debate about the Reichstag Fire and who were the people to blame, the Nazis or the Communists. Well we had 3 groups. Nazi defence, Communist defence and the jury (which i was in with Coley and Katie H). It started off quite friendly. Until Sophie got involved, hell bent on defending the communists. Ooh all hell broke out. Accusations were thrown about the room as well as a Coke bottle cap. At one point i thought we'd have to erect a clay mud wrestling platform between the desks so Joanne and Sophie could wrestle it out (my odds were on Joanne..man can she pinch...). Would've been amusing. I asked some random questions (unfortunately i didn't get to question whether we should trust a man who lies about his own sexuality) but was mainly just amused by the scene before me. I decided to bang my pen in the manner of a judge, but with everyone shouting at each other it made bugger all difference. I did get to use the phrase "The jury has no further questions" which filled me with a great sense of pride though. Miss finally had to settle us down. Hilarious overall. I went for my driving lesson afterwards. It was a SHAMBLES. Stalled it, almost hit a car and took the wrong exit on a round-a-about. Ye gads i tell you. Awful awful. I think i have a sore throat. I hope to hell i'm not getting that illness that's going round. That's it. I'm going to school with a surgical mask Michael Jackson stylee tomorrow... 2003-09-15 @ 10:02 p.m. My poor, dilapidated brain. Oh how it misses the sweet, sweet relief of year 8. I dion't care if i used 'dilapidated' in the wrong context. It s nifty word and i wished to use it. :P Found out today that my wonderful school has put me in a Spanish group rather than a French group for GS. Bloody marvellous. Yes great idea. Put me in a Spanish group when i know about 5 words of Spanish. Ingenius. *end of sarcasm* It's bad enough that they make me do it anyway and mess my perfect Thursday up by putting it 5th. :| *sigh* Stupid school and your stupid ways. I think i'm regressing. I can't spell..or type anymore. Example one. I decided to write Nasties instead of Nazis in History, which okay hilarious at the time. Well for me anyway. Example two. I spent the last half hour mastering the art of advanced hula hoop eating. Beginners levels being eating from the fingers. Advanced being throwing in the air and catching on tongue. It's all about technique people. Mmkays, i'm going to bid you adeiu..I have no idea if i spelt that right, but frankly dear..I don't give a damn.. 2003-09-14 @ 6:51 p.m. Meh. I feel uncomfortable in my skin. Like something's not right. Odd. It might be guilt. It might be stress. Way too much school work. I feel panicked about it all the time. I just have this fear of disapointing my teachers..and my parents. The thing is, i don't have THAT much work to do. I just leave it to the last minute. I can't motivate myself to do it and then when i do do it i do a half-assed job of it. Ah well.. 2003-09-13 @ 3:57 p.m. I'm tired of being what you want me to be feeling so faithless lost under the surface I don't know what you're expecting of me put under the pressure of walking in your shoes [caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow every step that I take is another mistake to you caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow I've become so numb I can't feel you there become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you can't you see that you're smothering me holding too tightly afraid to lose control cause everything that you thought I would be has fallen apart right in front of you caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow] every step that I take is another mistake to you caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow] and every second I waste is more than I can take I've become so numb I can't feel you there become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you And I know I may end up failing too But I know You were just like me with someone disappointed in you I've become so numb I can't feel you there become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you I've become so numb I can't feel you there Is everything what you want me to be I've become so numb I can't feel you there Is everything what you want me to be Gotta love that song... 2003-09-12 @ 10:59 p.m. Maaaaan i'm tired. And i've also pulled a muscle in my leg. Major ouchness. Fun day tho. Went to White Post Farm, which is a farm...but also not. It's more like an animal centre type effect. Hard to explain. Anyhoo, fed the pigs and ducks..and goats. Though letting them eat out of my hand freaked me out, so i decided against it and chucked food at them instead lol. Moi = not an animal person. Oooh i did hold a tiny lil chick tho. It was adorable and it fell asleep bless it. *refrains from awwing as that's all she's done all day* I felt like such a little kid lol I went on the adventure playground and the SLIDES!! Went bloody fast down that slide. :| Oooh ooh and went on go karts. I was having issues with mine tho 'cause you had to pedal and my long unruly legs were not suited for it. I kept knocking my shins against the steering wheel grr. Knackered me out too, the unfit person i am. Me and Nic decided to go on the 2 seater one with me pedalling. Going up a hill...bloody hell it was hard work. I think that's whats done my leg in. Doh. So yup bonny day. Except i'll probably have a cold 'cause i sat next to Nic who sneezed her head off all day. :P Ah well.. 2003-09-11 @ 9:56 p.m. Bah dum tsssh. I don't know why i just did that. It was the first thing that came into my head. I've had a weird day. It just felt..weird. Maybe watching Kilroy this morning threw me off. It was fairly amusing. It was about 'heavy people'. I didn't even know size 22 existed. That'd be like a friggin' tent on me. :| *shudder* Went to school. Same old, same old. Apart from the being late, well okay that usualy happens. Meandering in 10 minutes late does seem to happen quite often nowadays. Usually get away with it muahahaha. Except on Wednesday. I SWEAR it said 9:02 on my watch when i went into my form room. 2 minutes late..and no one was there. He'd already done the bloody register hadn't he. So had to walk all the way up to the post 16 area and sign in. Made sure i put 9:02 in massive letters. Bloody hell. Anyhoo back to the point i was making. Oh yeah, weirdness. Had psych was good. Then got really confused as i thought i had general studies 3rd, which it appears i don't. Went home and had a nice afternoon. Then decided to have a mid-teenage crisis, as you do. Not gonna go into now but decided to pour my heart oout to anyone who could be bothered to listen lol it was therapeutic, but made me think about a lot of tings i just keep casting into the back of my mind. Hmm. I think the Elephant site is finally starting to get to me. I keep typing elephant instead of other words. Interesting. 2003-09-10 @ 6:01 p.m. Like the new layout? I had an urge. I don't know what brought it on tho. :P You know what? I WANT AN ELEPHANT. I've been singing that all day. I have deep deep issues. Especially as at one point my brain decided to get confused and sing I want to fuck an elephant. Which erm no..because ouch. Can you imagine that? Well probably don't have to imagine it, probably could find it on a porn site. :| I worry about people in this world. E.g i searched Elephant on Kazaa. Got "Some dude's head going up elephants ass". Why why why would you do that? It ain't right people. That poor elephant must be traumatised. Poor soul *shakes head* Okay i'm being weirder than usual. The truth is i wanted to do an entry and i have nothing to say. Can you tell? :P I better round this off. Mostly 'cause i need to pee and partly 'cause i've been sat here all day lol..Au revoir my pretties.. 2003-09-03 @ 10:28 p.m. Okay that's it. I officially need help. Or at least anything to do with THAT VMA performance taken away from me. People, i am obsessed with it. I must have watched it/listened to it aeound 50 times. I know all the words, the timing of it..ask me anything about that performance and i could give you an answer straight away. My unique problem...well and Kazz's problem too lol has prompted us to form a support group called BSMA. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what that stands for... :P Did i spell genius right? I can't be arsed to check really.. It's weird how that kiss has been the focus of many debates. I can't believe some people. Some say it was disgusting. God could people be anymore close minded. A. I doubt the both of them are lesbian lovers now lol and B. Why be disgusted? Personally i found the kiss between Micheal Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley more cringe worthy. Some goon said that kiss is the reason why Al Quaeda hold America in such contempt. WTF?! A so-called 'intellectual' said that. Just WTF...You can't blame something that serious on something so trivial. PEOPLE ONE WORD 'PUBLICITY'. That's all it was done for. It was a stunt..and it worked. Bad press is better than no press at all. There was bad, there was good, there was ugly..But all in all it was pretty benificial to all the people involved. Except Xtina maybe lol poor thing. All you hear about is Britney and Madonna. Ah well..Tough shit really lol Aww nah, gotta love Xtina ;-) Hmm i just squished a fly..Nasty. Madonna said "Express yourself, don't repress yourself..". I had it as my msn name. And thinking now "yeah you've got some cheek to preach that"..Sometimes i feel like no one knows the real me (< hmm i may be channeling Buffy dialogue there lol)...except maybe my online friends. I can talk to most of them about anything and everything. I have this whole part of me that i hide from others and it cuts me up inside, generally i'm just a mass of confusion..Why am i so scared to show people who i really am? I'm surprised people don't wonder.. The world would be such an easier place if people just accepted people for who they really are and not be repressed by what they feel other people will think of them. It makes you wonder really...why were we put on this earth? To hate each other until will we end up killing each other? Of course there's good people. I like to think i'm one of them. I don't think i'm prejudice against anyone. I try to accept people for who they are, because you can't change who people are..You are who you are..and that's it. Why can't people accept that? *big sigh* Sorry felt like a bitch at the world. :-p I shouldn't bitch really. My life is better than others and i'm extremely thankful for that. But sometimes..the way people behave towards others infuriates me, and also saddens me.. It's weird though. I don't really know how to explain this..but when do you draw a line at to what is acceptable? I think it's wrong to be prejudice against someone because of their culture, colour, sexual preference, sex etc..But someone may think that mass murdering people is perfectly acceptable..and to me, and hopefully most people, it isn't. It's wrong..But what is right and what is wrong? Where do you draw that line? Is there a grey area? Confuzzling as shit this is..I really shouldn't have deep thoughts like this...It almost made me want to do some hwk. Scary. :| Okay enough with the deep thoughts..I almost started crying when i was writing that.. :| I really had to vent.. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. *cough* I may go watch the VMA performance again. It gives me a happy. I'm so easily amused...lol i get a happy from such small things :-P A quote to remember: "Live like you will never die, love like you've never been hurt, dance like no-one is watching" Sorry for my complete..brain empty-age lol It made fook all sense really. Peace out...moron. 2003-08-30 @ 4:55 p.m. Oh. My. Good. Lorden. Housen. Okay haven't been on awhile and stuff blah blah blah..who really gives a shite. :P Now..what i really wanna talk about. Britney. Madonna. Xtina. Kissage. Good God. Still recovering. I'm in a constant state of shock/awe/arou-..erm i mean..something else *looks shifty* :D But WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA. HOW FRIGGIN AWESOME WAS THAT?!? Very, is the answer to that. It owned. The whole thing was immense and my god it created a stir..and Britney lived up to her reputation of shocking people at the VMAs. Good lass Brit. Get down with your bad self..and hopefully with Xtina next time..i mean *cough* ;-)*innocent look* Bah i can't fool you lot :| I'm diiiiiiiirrrrrrrty...and so is Xtina :O Raawwr. What with the leg stroking etc :O wowsers... The funniest bit had to be Justins face though. LMFAO. It was like "Cop that Justin". :-p Poor lad...his pants must have been tight after that. ;-)..There i go being dirty again. Ah well. It's what i do best. :D Well anyways, just got back from my hols. With a sodding ear infection which is quite painful right now. So i'm drugged up right now. lol Tis for the best. Okay bored now... 2003-08-03 @ 3:08 a.m. Woooooooow its like 3 am. :| And i'm sat, in the dark no less, waiting for SMG pics. Yes i'm a rabid obsessive fan and have been clicking refresh on wire image for the last 2 hours. To find pics of people i don't even know put up..therefore i have cursed the name of Wireimage many a time... My feet are cold. And you know what, Joy is evil damnit. She went "AHH SARAH PICCAGE!!"..I freaked out and clicked on the wrong thing..and she was winding me up anyway...evil i tell thee... Then she mocked my name. :( Okay i need sleep..they better post those friggin pictures... 2003-07-26 @ 11:35 p.m. Whoooooa i haven't been on here for donkeys years. My internet...*gulps* broke. My god, i was traumatised...a whole damn week without internet goodness. I was at a loss. Just wandering aimlessly around, with nothing to do but stare at the stupid unfixable modem. :'( All fixed now though. Woot woot. Been at Lucifer's house all today. Oh the madness and fun. Truly bonny in every way (hey that's kinda like what Mary Poppins said once..'cept that was 'Practicly perfect in every way'..so yeah maybe not *unsure* ). But omg...the yahoo chatrooms are a damn scary place. Do not EVER under any circumstances click on somebodys webcam. I did..and holy mother of tiny baby jesus...penis...all...up...being..ack. Surfice to say, i screamed. Lucifer screamed. I tried to click it off. I accidently clicked it onto full screen. A full screen penis appeared. I couldn't click it off. Without opening my eyes. Had to restart the computer. Not good overall. Not good at all. Poor Lucifer will be scarred for life poor thing. Only 12...and seen a stupid penis. Damn you peeeeeeniiiiisssssss, daaaaaaammmn yoooooooooou. *cough* Was quite funny though lol What is the plural of penis anyway? Penises, Penisii..I may look it up in the dictionary. Okay according to dictionary.com it is *drum roll please*.... pe·nis·es or pe·nes Wow that sure is interesting...aye... I feel like shaking my bootay. Even though it is quite bruised. Stupid mens saddle on my bike. Why do they do that, eh? Mean it is..stupid men shaped bums..now it hurt when i sit. Oooh while i'm on my pain rant. Lucifer. She is evil. She tripped me up lol..we were wrestling..i feel sideways onto the chair arm. Hit my ribs and winded me. Kinda writhed around on the floor for a bit lol I'm such a damn wuss Okay bored now. Peace out..morons...hehe 2003-06-29 @ 6:57 p.m. Fine then Diaryland...just fook up my system. If you press previous, it'll take you back to previous (are you shocked?) entries..Bah.. 2003-06-29 @ 6:52 p.m. Bloody hell. Bloody, bloody hell. Hot. Overheated. Bloated. Head achy. Good god. I think i have sun/heat stroke. :| Or just ate too much. Or maybe a combination. I'm just so not amuse-able at the moment. Also...Puppets scare the shite out of me. I'm not kidding. The video for Tiga - Hot in Herre is just plain traumatising. I have to turn it off. The mere thought of it makes me wanna toss my cookies...hehe, what a weird phrase that it. Who tosses off cookies? What kind of sick pervert would do that? Oh the humanity. See the heat is making me crazy. You know what's also scary, the spitting image puppets. Holy cow. Again traumatising. I have issues. I may pass out now... -|+